From A Friend & Coworker

by Kevin Ferguson

Mary, Eily, Nora, Rosie, Gavin, Max, family members of the McGowan and Haggerty clans,

On behalf of all worshipers and guests gathered here today, I want to tell you how sorry, heart-broken we are that your husband, father, brother-in-law, brother, and uncle, Tom, has passed from this life to the next.  We hope that our words of consolation and prayers said here, and in Rhode Island, and in Ireland and in Australia will bring lasting comfort to each of you.

Father David, thank you for allowing us to celebrate Tom’s life and this Mass here at the Holy Family Monastery.  Tom loved this setting.  His family loves to spend time here.  Thank you for being such a good friend and guiding light to the family.

Tom passed away early on Easter morning.  I am sorry that he died but am comforted knowing that his Spirit lives on everlasting.  Christ is Risen, Indeed He is Risen.  Because of his strong faith in God and God’s Word, Tom now enjoys everlasting life.  That is what Tom very firmly believed.  It is because of Jesus’s life, death and resurrection that we do not mourn today as those without hope, but rather in the faith-led optimism that Tom’s soul now basks in the warmth and light of a loving, present God.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the past, and where we are today, and a peek into the future.

How do you remember Tom?  What are the highlights for you?  Was he there for you at a difficult time?  Or perhaps he was there to help you celebrate one of the best times of your life?  Perhaps he inspired you to be a better Christian: a better person?  To his children and nieces and nephews, you’ll never forget his presence at sports and school events, at numerous singing events here at the Monastery.  He was always encouraging you to do your best.  It isn’t so much about the outcome, but rather the effort you gave.  Great times at holiday celebrations at Mary’s and Tom’s home.

For me, and so many others here, he was a true friend and mentor.  He was the big brother I never had as an only child.  He helped me to pick myself off the floor more than once as I lay in the dumps.  He counseled me how to develop into the man, husband and father that I am and aspire to be.  Really, truly there was nothing that Tom would not do for each of you here today to make you more happy and help you to succeed.  I trust that you realize that few men actually cared about you as much as Tom did.

Tom overflowed with integrity.

Today, we reflect on Tom’s life and its stages.  I only knew Tom since 1992 when we joined Lynch & Mayer within months of each other.  So many of you know him and Mary much longer.  The friendships you’ve had with him in and around West Hartford for 40-50 years are cherished memories.  Tom loved West Hartford, his brothers and their families, and his parents.  He loved the Haggerty’s.  He was very proud of both clans.  He was good at keeping in touch and helping.  He loved Marty Moran.  He loved Hall High and Trinity College.  He had to be one of Trinity’s proudest alums and recently had joined its Board of Fellows.

Wall Street can be a funny place at times with all of its inside baseball terminology.  At the end of the day, most of it all comes down to a few basic pillars.  You either manage money well for clients and beat your benchmark and live to compete for at least another year, or you don’t.  You underperform for a period of time, and you get fired.  Assets drop and people, your colleagues, some of whom are your friends, lose their jobs.  Firms go away.

In Wall Street terms, Tom was a marketer.  The thing is, he was a salesman.  He helped to build businesses, big ones, successful ones.  Lots of marketers don’t really ‘market’ on Wall Street in the classic marketing major sense.  They sell.  Some hard, some consultative.  Some transactional, some for the long-term to build relationships.  Tom and his cadre of marketing buddies, Chris Lacroix, Jon Prom, Eric Johnson, Doreen Mochrie, Dan Deter, others developed into pre-eminent sales professionals and earned incredible successes and had a lot of fun along the way.  I can assure you, you’d love to go out and have beers with these folks.  They each lived and told great Wall Street stories.  Tom absolutely loved being in the middle of that mix.

Tom loved the game of making money. He loved the courting process; the pursuit.  He was an All-Star.  Siguler Guff was the right spot for Tom at the right time.  In his comments to me, he always thanked Lacroix for opening his eyes to the professional opportunities in private equity.  He worked hard at Siguler and took great pride in raising a lot of assets for the firm.

He traveled frequently to all parts of the globe.  He made Australia into a core hub of growth for the firm.  The Australians absolutely loved Tom.  He and I happened to overlap at a conference in Sydney in 2011 and I found myself invited to a lounge bar for after dinner drinks where Tom had organized about 50 Australian institutional investors for cocktails.  Pretty impressive in its own right considering that every Wall Street firm with a global product set targets Australia for new business and wants these people to show up.

The really impressive thing that I witnessed that night was Tom standing up in the middle of the packed room and leading the room in songs, and doing so very loudly.  Tom was actually the lead singer of a couple of the ballads and the Australians joined in the lyrics.  I was floored and awestruck.  I can assure you many Australian investment executives will deeply miss seeing Tom.

More recently, he loved investing in private deals.  He loved talking private investments with Kevin Kester, Bill Luby and public long/shorts with Chris Fox.  He was excited, and a successful investor.  He loved taking risk, sometimes, but not always, calculated risks.

So what did Tom do with the considerable money he earned during his career?  Well he bought an estate nearby here on Stoner Drive.  I encourage you to drive by at Christmastime when you’ll see beautiful, life-size statutes of the Holy Family, angels, carolers, and shepherds animals from the Nativity.  A home in Weekapaug.  He traveled with Mary and his children.  Russia to adopt Max, China, Italy, Lourdes. Ireland countless times.

Tom was Irish American.  Ireland and her people had no greater friend than Tom McGowan.  He loved Kinsale, a coastal beauty spot in Cork.  He proposed to Mary there.  He loved taking his children there.  He was a bonafide Irishman: hard working, great family man, outstanding father, quick-witted, a gift of blarney.  He built friendships as easily as Trump lies.  I say that knowing that Tom voted for Trump and was proud that he did then and now.

What else did Tom do with his money? Well, he was probably the most generous man that I know.  Big brothers, Education Thru Music, Holy See Observer Mission to the United Nations, the Holy Family Monastery, Roseann’s initiatives helping to end homelessness and strengthen communities, Tricia’s initiatives at Safe Harbors of the Hudson in Newburgh and more recently the Golden Thread Gallery.  May we all be as generous with our talents and treasures and do our part to help others.  Get involved.  If not for yourself, then as a lasting tribute to Tom.

Tom learned that he was sick 2 years ago.  He found out he had a very dangerous cancer and that radical surgery was a must, as well as chemo and radiation.  I talked with him frequently.  Never once did he say or infer that he was scared.  I actually don’t think he was.  He had faith in God, STRONG faith in God, and optimism that he’d get the best care available.  The cancer reoccurred and then spread.  He did get the best care, it’s just that the disease took hold and wouldn’t let go.  As many of you know, Smacker, as he was called, was a fighter and tough guy when he needed to be.  He told me three weeks ago that he felt his calling might be to be a “Chuck Yeager” in cutting edge, immunological drug trials.

I believe that Tom, his soul, has transitioned to a better place and will live on everlasting.  Tom’s dying on Easter puts me thinking.  My hope is that maybe it will put all of us thinking.  Just a coincidence, dying on Easter?  Perhaps.  Only God knows.  I am hopeful that Tom’s life and death is part of God’s exact plan, his mosaic for us.  Mary and the children got to say good-bye to Tom intensely.  His kids made loving posters and put them up inside the ICU on Saturday.  His children are rallying in the face of adversity. They are comforting their mother.  Look for yourselves.

Let’s encourage them and each other by our words and actions now and going forward.  Tom was surrounded by immense love.  God blessed Tom with priceless treasures: an adoring wife, children who are developing into beautiful young adults filled with big, fat loving hearts and diverse interests, extended family connections that probably made Tom feel at times like he was the mayor of West Hartford.  He appreciated God’s gifts bestowed upon him.  He thanked God at daily Mass.  He taught and shared with his children the blessings of his faith.

Mary and her family have been thrilled to hear the many words of praise and admiration for Tom.  I’m sorry that Tom will not be physically with us for future graduations, weddings, holiday celebrations, career milestones. He will be with each of us in Spirit.

My faith leads me to believe that Tom is now watching us.  Let’s strive to make him and one another proud.  Doing so may be Tom’s greatest gift to each one of us.

God, please grant Tom and us mercy.  May Tom’s soul rest in peace eternally as he awaits the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.  Amen